My cousin captured this beautiful moment and shared it.  This was at South Padre Island, Texas.  What a wonderful shot.  ~ Jay Evins copyright 2010

There was a night at the beach which I love to remember because of a Heron fishing.  These are smart, calm, elegant birds.  I like them a lot ... always trying to capture a decent shot of them with my little point and click.  Thanks to Jay I now have this lovely reminder.

topic change ...
I'm slowly reading the book Rescuing Ambition (Dave Harvey), essentially about "reaching further dreaming larger for the glory of God" ummm ... rather then for oneself.  It's a good book for me to be looking t during this time because I can still feel that need to achieve something special, something extraordinary, within me ... and it is making me feel a bit bad, like achieving or competing is somehow inappropriate, but I know that is how I am.  I like to, for lack of a better sense of it, I like to impress myself.  I like to do stuff that I am proud of.  Like even those silly doors ... they are beautifully refinished - just right  - and I did that (doing that).  But ... great doors don't really matter very much, do they?  I don't want to be famous or even noticed to tell the truth ... I just want to spend my moments mostly on things which I think might matter.  
I can see that I am in an important time in my life ... it feels like a down time because I don't have anything going on that falls into my might matter bag.  
Yes, my family matters a lot, but ... they are pretty much grown up.  I have time for more.  I like that the kitchen floor is "clean enough to eat off of" as my mother would say ... I even have a renewed respect for all the awesome housekeeping she did, and I sure can see why we spent so much time keeping our messes outside! ... Momma was on to something there.
It's like distractions are minimized right now.  Every one of the handful of places where I want to go for achieving and also for filling my cup ... all those doors seem to be shut.  This feels like a quiet time, and it kinda creeps me out.  I stay busy, but busy with still stuff ... like sanding, sewing, painting, fixing ... .  I'm even driving the jeep slower.  It's just kinda weird, hard to explain.  I knock on the door of a little excitement, but to no avail.  I am a little bit uneasy about it, at the same time, I intuitively believe things are exactly as they should be, and I imagine I will look back on this time and see how special it was.
So ... to honor that  gift, the gift of quiet time, I am trying to relax in to it.  I can feel my feet kicking at it some, and I have learned how to shhhh myself.  I learned that in an airplane.  You get to decide what you think about, and what you think about feeds your soul ... or eats your soul.  In an airplane, it is important to learn how to discipline yourself to think about the right stuff at the right times ... it is cool to know where your default thinking takes you, and think better then that.  


This guy, Dave Harvey, expresses the notion that one's natural proclivity towards ambitious feats leaves a big empty hole which hankers to be filled with even grander acts.  Vain glory is a phrase which comes to mind. 

This is the table of contents.  I haven't  read enough of it to have an opinion other then I'm interested in where he goes with the ideas.
I know there is something for me ... I really hope it's not just about housekeeping.