Sunday night. Today's sermon notes shake down to:
•ask Him to reveal Himself to you ... Revelation as in "pull back the veil" and I'm thinking about how the veil in the temple was rent from top to bottom during the crucifixtion. God has indicated that we might approach Him, maybe even that He wishes that. It's very difficult for me though ... Mostly, I think because I can not see Him ... and even as I think that and type those words I know it would scare me were He or any of His buddies suddenly to appear. I am trying to think about this ... it's may be something like a friend who knows, well, in the case of God, he knows everything ... Okay, so a friend who knows everything about you and loves you, really loves you, but who you have never seen ... You know the facts of his ways, you think you know him, but ... . I don't think you really can know someone who you have never seen. I think it would be easy to superimpose preferences where there are gaps. I close my eyes and try to picture God sometimes ... But, I don't think he will really look like that. As far as what one might expect God to be like ... truly unimaginable. My capacity to know Him is severely limited. ...ask Him to reveal himself to you. (Eph 1:15-17) I know I'm not good at that ... Is that the wait upon the Lord idea? I'm going to ask God to reveal himself to me. Seems audacious ... like asking God out to lunch ... I would like to know you better God, let's hang out, btw, sorry in advance, I'm a bit of a mess. If I were going to have lunch with someone I liked, but had never actually sat down with face to face, heart to heart ... I can easily imagine how that would feel for me. I would look forward to that ... I would yearn towards that. I'm going to be thinking about this a bit ... It seems a little crazy to me, on the other hand, that is what the scripture says.
• the other thing was ... Over and over again in the Bible you see
The birth of a vision
The death of that vision
The supernatural rebirth of the vision

That's what the Pastor said, and I think he is right. That does seem to be a reoccurring theme in the Bible. I'm thinking about that. He said after you have walked with God over a period of time you start to see that happening in your own life. Seems like to me that most of the Bible stories sort of worked out pretty well for the people... He cited Joseph (dreamer->slave->right hand man) and Abraham (a man with no child->a promise->patriarch of the nations). I can think of plenty of stories that followed that track which ended not so well as we think of well. It's hard to look forward to hanging out with an invisible friend. I can feel a tinge of amping up for that, but, also I feel myself draw back ... in a self protect mode. Hmmm. A lot of this spiritual stuff is just kinda difficult. I wonder if I am approaching it right ... I hope I'm not being disrespectful. Then ... I get frustrated about the whole invisible thing. I like friends who I can see. Seems like important stuff should be handled face to face, at least occasionally. I think I'm going to have to think about this. It's a little bit ...just the tiniest bit like standing in front of a blank canvas ...what will show up there?