The way to love someone
is to lightly run your finger over that person's soul
until you find a crack,
and then gently pour your love into that crack.
~Keith Miller

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Ramblings on "choice"

~ found Photo (idk)
I was thirteen, sitting in a booth for four at a pizza hut in Houston, Texas with one of my Dad's brothers. By then I had learned to say which ever of my uncles I am sitting nearest to is my favorite ... Daddy had six brothers, and I enjoyed spending as much time as possible with any one of them. This particular uncle was so incorrigible that he could even get my mother to loosen up occasionally ... that didn't endear him to her though.
Looking back on the dinner conversation, I can see the context that eluded the younger me. He talked while the candle flickered and his pizza congealed. Always remember this he said, " Each one of us comes in to this life with a ring of keys. Some people have many keys, some people have a few ... some people prefer to "pick" locks. Don't be a lock picker," he said looking up. I think he was trying to make sure that I understood that lock picking was dishonest. "Use your keys, but use them judiciously, some keys may only be used once. Some keys fit only one particular lock, don't force a key ... don't force a lock. You're not going to know which keys will forfeit from your ring once tried, so take care with them." By then I'm sure I was wondering what specifically prompted this little talk. It was as though my uncles could read my mind, and I wondered if he was somehow aware of some recent mischief making on my part. I held eye contact with him while I searched for a guilty spot in my conscience. He must have taken my look of innocence for deep thought ... but rather then thinking about what he was saying, I was trying to figure out why he was saying it. There was no way he coulda known about me skipping school to go swimming in the Falls ... "Okay, I'll remember" I said flashing a big smile. He signaled the waitress to refill my Coke, but he wasn't finished with his story. "Some of your keys will reward careful choice by multiplying. By that I mean, you open a locked door to find another key, or several keys, in that place. But sometimes, you arrive at a door only to find that you have squandered the key elsewhere. Be mindful with your keys little sister. You seem to be starting out with a full ring, but you've got a long ways to go." I liked the analogy. I thought, even back then it was an interesting take on things. I thought he was talking about me, but looking back I realized that he was sharing some private pain. That night we were waiting at Pizza Hut for his fiancé, I was meeting her for the first time. He had divorced his first wife who was special to me ... I still keep up with her now nearly forty years later ... she attended his funeral several years ago. I grew to love this woman I met that evening too, many times over the years I thought he was so very fortunate to have won the heart of not one, but two exceptional women. I loved him, but I could see why my momma did not.
Choices. From here I can see his regret and his relief.

Proverbs 20:24 (NIV)
A man's steps are directed by the LORD. How then can anyone understand his own way?

Barnes' commentary:
The order of a man's life is a mystery even to himself. He knows not where he is going, or for what God is educating him.


How about this? Jeremiah 10:23 I know, O LORD, that a man's life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps.

... Out of time for now. It's good to have choices, and we all do. I think where the lock/key thing gets messed up, is where a choice is made purely on impulse, equally where it's made purely by "rational" choice. I like what I have read recently in DAWN ...about those people who have helped shape us, and I would take it further to include those without faces whose work we've seen or heard or read; our experiences. I've said my choices make choices. Way leads on to way. I think maybe the soul has many folds just like the brain.

Snow is forecast for today ... My little flight is probably on for tomorrow. I have a few things to do before I spend a day away ... So, I better get going ... after I read this backwards. One of my favorite teachers taught me to proof myself by reading things backwards. It works good with life too.

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