Raising children is a very interesting "project". Your heart expands to envelope them ...and all the while you know that while you help them begin to write the story of their life, you provide the "paper" and guide them as they create the language of their lives ( ... yes, this stuff can be "erased", that stuff however may as well be chiseled in a tablet of stone) all the while you must be mindful that while you will always "carry them in your heart" these are passing through ... Their lives will carry them beyond your shores.
My "baby", V, set the table this year. Her older sister observed that this is our last year for Thanksgiving in this house. Ouch. A fact probably, and one that is both exciting and a tad scary. Life is changing ... and it's changing in such a way that I can see it. Two of our adult children were not at the table this year ... first time ever and they were missed. Another first time ever, Three squeezed my hand as his dad offered "grace" ... and then offered to help with the dishes afterwards. They grow up. They have "grown me up" over the years ... slowly, gently, one long silvery hair at a time.
I am starting to realize as I look back over this particular year, that it has been a time for me to ... I guess the words are to steady myself for a thoughtful look at the possibilities of what comes next ... 'cause this chapter is near it's close. The specific idea of change has been flitting in and out of my life this year. I will make some notes on that later, because it certainly has been a theme this year and I am just now noticing it ... just in time. I would like to make the choices I can make to get the results I want to live these next several years with ... these silver hair years ... lol ... one thing I know for sure, I want to hear myself laughing as often as possible.
I haven't done a single thing with Christmas lights today ... just lazing around today and in a few minutes I'm going to go touch the sky.
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