I went ahead and "stored" the last couple of days worth of reflecting/fussing. The bottom line for me is I want to work and I would like very much to repay the family coffers by working but I don't have to work. That is one of the things that the young CFIs enjoy messing with me about ... and while it is true that I'm not trying to make rent there are many valid resons why people work. Someone is saying I should write the letter outlining my grievances because the big boss has asked for it. If he really wants it, he'll ask for it again. I can do without the drama, and I don't need to cause potential heartache for someone who is trying to support a family. The other part of this is how it makes me feel to have someone wrongly imply inappropriate behavior on my part. It makes me furious. But then I quickly realize that anyone who knows me and sees how I do my life would know how ludicrous that innuendo is. Some one is saying stand up for yourself and I am saying it's just too silly to mess with.

The winds of change and circumstance blow in and all around us and so we find a foothold that's familiar ... and bless the moments that we feel you nearer. ~N.Nordemon

One of my favorite quotes.

This morning, for just a minute, I was reading about how someone used the wind ... not a tailwind ... it seemed like a weaker band or gradient ... not at a different altitude, just slightly away from the most direct course. I sat there looking at the cyclonic swirl tightening towards the L ... duh ... and then a little light started to twinkle.

One of the things that flying has seared into my psyche ... be thinking of plan B ... be looking for pieces of plan C ... . In the CFI training I was pretty thrilled with the quality of instruction I was receiving. Plus the FI was smart enough to set up scenarios that I just might not see coming. (Once I became accustomed to his ways I could sense something was going on, but not always what. ) Some of the extemporaneous take away underscored this idea that the straightest line to where you think you want to go, just quite frankly may not be the most promising or rewarding course.
I'm expressing a couple of different, related, ideas. I would have chosen to stay here to complete my training. I wanted my endorsements to be from someone who had worked along side. That's how I am. Going elsewhere was really good for me. I'm sure there's still stuff I could learn working with this instructor, but I was really ready to move forward. I'm still learning some cool stuff from previous instructors ... sometimes the light flickers on later.
Also, having an opportunity to see that I can't see the big picture sometimes is pretty cool. I have laughed at myself. He says when the student is doing all the work and the instructor is just sitting there it's pretty easy to see what could happen and subtly steer the experience towards that learning place. I hope that true. So ... there's a big picture in life too. I thought I would finish here and then just start instructing here. Wrong on finish here worked out so much better then I would ever have dreamed. Wrong about instructing here may be way cool too.

Plan A isn't looking as wonderful as it did 2 months ago. I've set up a meeting to explore plan B. I can see some of the pieces to a plan C. I like it. I want to get "to teach". There are ways to do that other then just barrel through with plan A ... is that the expression? I may not have to plan to refuel en route ... I may be able to reach that destination with an elegant solution rather then what might be comparable to brute force (and depleted resources). There are constraints that I have chosen to work within, but the winds of change and circumstance maybe just a bit more favorable just slightly off what I thought was the course.

On a different topic - those breaks on landing at PDK. The brake disc had "coned". The mechanic here and I were talking about some of the possibilities and he offered that as one. We changed the brake pads on one of our vehicles today and I had an opportunity to look at it and put my hands on it and I'm pretty sure that was part of the problem. Maybe the distorted disc nicked the hydraulic line ... I don't know. I think I'll call the mechanic over there and see what he says.