Mirrors and twinkling little stars

I kept on waking up last night ... not in an unpleasant way ... just my usual pattern. The thing I really like about that is it gives me a very quiet, comfy, place to think about stuff. Last night in the cool dark of my bedroom that string of lights in the corner of my psyche illuminated something that I seem to have been stepping around.




This morning as I got ready for the day I recognized something that this blog helps me see about myself ... I am a tad spoiled. That comes a a surprise to me, because I had a different idea of what spoiled looks like ... I thought it must come with a purse pup.

This string of light pictured above ... little stars with suction cups, they can be easily "hung" anywhere a little glow is needed. I bought the mirror stars on the same day (at IKEA on a little walk around right after the CFI ride). Seems like when I come back by to read what I note here, I get to see a more objective look at myself. This is what I'm talking about specifically this morning: I said I don't want to work for someone I don't respect. Hah! Guess what? ... nobody does! I've been thinking about that leadership stuff, and also just the dynamics, or politics, or whatever you want to call them, that are part of every interpersonal environment. I say I don't want to play. Wahhhh! I do want to play ... I just want to make the rules! I want to play my version of fair ... my version of nice ... my version.

Wouldn't it be just peachy if we could all order up the ideal work environment. I'll take the new airplane with the awesome avionics and a side of what might be cooler to fly ... throw in a student, 'cause it'll be fun to watch their lights come on ...but hold the asshole who is trying to make the financial side of the field sustainable. I don't want to put on the allegorical boots and wade through the muck ... at least not every day, some days I like those cute high heel sandals. Boots will keep my ankles safe ... safer from the nasty little bites. I need to boot up.

And it is just possible that I owe someone an apology. I don't like thinking about that. I know I was right, but can see that he might have been a little bit right too ... and I might have been a little bit wrong not to see that earlier.