Monday 30 November 2009

Here we are at that hyperhappy time of year - I gotta find a way to get on board. I'm not wanting to go to any of the parties - feeling very Grinchy about the whole thing. That is not my prerogative though - I am the mom and I believe it is my job to make things nice (for all my every ones). I am feeling quite sad for no known reason - I am feeling fake because that is a better version than what is real. I think a lot of people feel that way. I really need to find the way out of this funk - it's been going on too long now. A week was too long. I've read that we humans have a 7 year psychological cycle - I'm pretty close to year 3 of this cycle if there is such a thing - that makes me smile -- the silliness of that. I hear myself say that people chose to be happy or not. It hasn't been quite that simple. I need to get busy thinking of ways to make this a good time of year for my family - and stay busy thinking there. This introspective stuff is busting my chops! I bet my girls would like a cookie making party. And - I have pansies to plant and lovely weed free beds with fresh bark ready to be spread about. I think I am just feeling very crowded...I want to help make things good for everyone, but I'm just still adjusting. I don't like that there is no room for the ironing board... . I am fretful at all the clutter. Adding a tree and all that jinglebell is ... not as appealing as it should be. And my back is absolutely killing me - no yoga and 3 days worth of weeding is exacting a toll! I will post a picture or two of the yard as soon as I get those flowers planted! IT's going to be worth it I'm (almost) sure!