The way to love someone
is to lightly run your finger over that person's soul
until you find a crack,
and then gently pour your love into that crack.
~Keith Miller

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

This is something  I amstarting to think about ... a new thing I want to explore.  It's not a new idea, just something I haven't given much thought to.

An artist, whose work I admire, expresses the notion of  ... a light you see with your eyes shut ... . Maybe that is extra-sensory. If I have this right, and I don't promise that I do, he also talks about the impressions that sleeping and/or twilight dreams leave you with.  Some dreams seem to be an extra-conscious, beyond conscious, a way of sorting out your ... stuff (pleasant stuff and unpleasant stuff ...) ... a way of making stuff make sense ... a way of processing your stuff in to something that can be consciously "processed" if not entirely understood.  Maybe it is the work of one's soul.  I get the light one may see with their eyes shut.  You can see things in that light that are ... oblique. Oblique and opaque.

Okay ... so I have been thinking about thinking more about that.   Yesterday, I serendipitously came across a similar idea  ... it was elegantly expressed.  It actually made a silent tear run down my face unnoticed until it landed in my lap.  The guy ... the creator/expressor of the idea had written a poem ... a real poem ... I don't want to get side tracked by my thoughts because of the poem ... it was a tidy little stack of evocative, powerfu,l words.  It deserves  thoughtful  ... time.  Not this time though ... and I think private time too ... so, not here.  The poem was wrapped in other words ... also the poet's words, but morethe words his writer-self.  His writer-self sort of described the process of birthing the poem. (His writer self is a thinker not a feeler ... that's my take on it ... with what little I have read .)  He actually hit the nail on my fence with this little piece.  It's the nail that my shirt gets caught on lotsa times when all I really want to do is take the dog out for a walk.  I want to walk the dog ... listen to the birds ... smell the gardenias that seem to float in the air just this time of year.  I don't really want to think about that peculiar little nail that pesters my attention.  Mystical.  ...laughing ... kinda smirking at myself ... only at myself here ... because, I am totally creeped out by this ... mystical.  This guy heard a phrase.  The way he tells his story, he was just walking along minding his own business when the phrase wanted to be heard.  Kind of like that light ...  a light that wants to be seen.  Both, the phrase and the light, coming with an intent to illuminate ... both becoming from some mystical place. ... hmmm feeling isn't a big enough word is it? 

I have a feeling.  It didn't come from a sensual input. I do not understand it logically.

...someone sung me awake with their words ... the words sung by a shooting star ... I was too mesmerized to make a wish ...

How can it be a feeling without have been acquired by my skin ...
I smell just one single note of the perfume I snuck a squeeze of ... you know, those very old perfume atomizers ...  the memory reproduces a feeling
The taste of summer ripe peaches ... feelings
That poem ... that art installation ... feelings.

Nascent ... the process ...well ... it's kinda creepy.
 
I guess it's time for me to start thinking about this ... .  I seem to be being bombarded by ... feelings ... lately.  It's like the place that feels in me has recently ... unfolded itself.  It feels familiar yet almost forgotten ... re-awakened.   It feels like it has atrophied during slumber.  It's stretching now before it sits up.
 I sort of remember this aspect of me ... in a fond way.  I remember the little me awash in emotion as I wondered at the Universe revealed in a planetarium ... the Milky Way video I placed here reminds me of those feelings ... I want to go where I can see the stars ... I want to feel the wonder again. I remember the first overwhelming taste of Wagner ... of Mozart ... of Bella Fleck ... AC/DC ...lol.   I am comfortable feeling music.  This other stuff kinda creeps me out.
I'm past out of time here and in to some making up for lost time actually.  This is what I am beginning to think about ... to actively think about.  I am starting to think about feelings.

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