The way to love someone
is to lightly run your finger over that person's soul
until you find a crack,
and then gently pour your love into that crack.
~Keith Miller

Friday, June 17, 2011

There's a wren in the willow wood
Flies so high and sings so good
And he brings to you
What he sings to you.
Like my brother the wren and I
Well, he told if I try, I could fly for you
And I wanna try for you. 'cause
I wanna sing you a love song
I wanna rock you in my arms all night long
I wanna get to know you
I wanna show you the peaceful feelin' of my home.
Summer thunder on moon-bright days
Northern Lights and skies ablaze
And I bring to you,
Lover, when I sing to you.
Silver wings in a fiery sky
Show the trail of my love and I
Sing to you,
Love is what I bring to you ...

...Words to an old song. I woke up remembering this song this morning. I'm still thinking about those relationships where shelter is shared ... given ... found ... lost sometimes.

And another song wafts through me ... barely ... He hiddeth my soul in the cleft of the rock ... Shelter.
I woke up with tiny little tears sliding over my cheekbones ... Both at the same time. What an ironic coincidence - today is preplanned as a day of intense reading and review of aviation related things. Today I am supporting myself as I say, "Go ahead and get your hopes up!". Why the sad this morning? It's something about that stupid song. I don't want to have time for that now ... I want to work on building the shelter I can build. I don't mean that I did build this all by myself or that it's my only refuge ... neither of those would be true, but I do
find something necessary in ... The air. This is my bone ... I take it out and gnaw on it ... bury and unearth it again. This is something I can do. This is a joy field for me. Okay to land here. My husband says, "Don't get your hopes up ... He was probably just making conversation". Maybe. Honestly, it's kinda weird because working specifically there has been exactly what I was working towards. And, obviously, I am going to ask for the job. And if I get it ... I'll put my whole self towards it like I do with everything and everyone who is important to me. But, that place where I wanted to work doesn't really exist anymore. There are just two buds left out there now ... Real buds, I'm not saying I don't like the group, it's just not the same group of folks. And the moral is sub-terrain. My one bud is looking at a different gig right now and the other really must be too ... He has lived away from his wife for the past several years and I know he'll fix that ASAP. Good jobs are opening up. I do think I might be a better fit in a different type environment. We'll see. As I said, the most important thing to me is to be situated in something by September. I sure hope it involves flying. Today I had lunch with my friend who does corporate flying from here. He used to CFI out there and he doesn't think the chief would encourage me to put in a resume just to jerk me around. I really don't think so either. He said they are hurting for pilots in Alaska. Don't know about that. Today I have a headache. I almost never get headaches it's pretty bizarre. I have had a headache all day long.

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