Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Starting to really think about love ...LOVE
My play buddy ... aka V ... is at camp this week and I find myself with a bit of extra time. I have a new thing I like to do ... I am pouring through the Netflex documentaries. It amazes me to see what is out there ... not all of them were developed by high quality thinkers. I can see that, but will I know manipulated information when I see it? Yesterday I watched one on conspiracy theories concerning 911. Kinda wish I hadn't seen that one. Of course I'm watching everything on Space, Planets, natural science, etc. I am also doing some reading on love, falling in love, ... love is a messy business ... I'm surprised that I haven't looked at it carefully before ... It is a fantastic topic to research. In a lot of the literature I have read over the years, I didn't spend any energy trying to understand the love connection. Okay ... Like say, Romeo and Juliet. A friend of mine is immersing her daughters in R&J this summer. When I read it, I just couldn't relate to their love for each other ... . Love is interesting. I'm pretty satisfied with the work I have been doing on trust ... I'm starting to focus on love. Everyone who knows me says I am very loving ... I think they are really noticing that I am a good listener (if I'm on board) and a good nurturer ... I care. I don't think that is the same thing as loving. Loving seems to require something lots more
Trust does come before love doesn't it?
Some CFI was talking about a milking stool. I don't like cows. They stink and they have vacant eyes ... that's what I think ... random observation. Apparently a milking stool has three legs ... The CFI said three legs provided optimum balance because if one leg was shorter it still didn't mess up the seat.
Maybe that little analogy is available on line ... I'll look later I mention this only as a means of thinking about what experiential material supports love. My Buddygirl and I have been talking about this for many years now. She says "If you can't trust someone with your heart, what can you trust them with?". She is amazing at putting her heart out there ... . Yeah, trust does seem to be a major factor where love is concerned. I'm thinking that it's about trusting God rather then people though. People tend to let each other down for excellent reasons, reasonably reasons and sometimes for no reason. I'm thinking about that today ... .
What else ... This is starting to be pressing. Yesterday, another former student texted. He wants to know if I either have a plane or if I will come to work at his flight school ... His CFI (who was also one of my students) is moving on. He wants me to help him finish up. He's exhausted by the stream of instructors in his logbook. He thinks I will see him through ... And I would if I began working with him in the first place. Not having career objectives beyond flight instructing has it's advantages. I have been getting several calls like that here lately. My husband says I should just borrow the money for a small business. Aviation is not much of a money maker from what I've seen ... No thanks ... Talk about a money pit! So ... One of the local jet jocks has a C150 parked locally. I've got a line out on that. There are two other situations that are possibilities airplane wise ... I know how stuff suddenly morphs into something totally different then what you thought you were working with ... This has definitely been a time in my life when I thought I was safe in someone's hand only to find myself bounced like a rubber ball ... boing ... boing ... boing ... . Hahaha ... Live and learn right?! They absolutely are going to be hurting for help CFI wise around here very soon. I don't think I can work where I used to work. Because I don't want to. I like the chief ... From what I've seen he is qualified and professional ... I could feel good about his leadership. There's other stuff out there that I just don't want to wade through ... I don't think I'll apply out there. I'm actually thinking about driving to Atlanta to instruct one day a week ... Some of the programs over there specifically do not assign students ... They just fly with whomever is available that day. That seems strange to me but ... Well, good for the CFI, kinda sucky for the student ... Idk. I'm cogitating ... Maybe I should just hang a hammock in the backyard and call it loafing around!
Cleaned the master bedroom closet out today. It was actually quite a bit of good clean fun. Hahaha. Observations: I use slightly less then 1/3 of the available space. Most of what I like to wear is black or white or black and white. I also buy deep turquoise clothes, but seldom wear them. I have way way way too many shoes ... I love shoes and have for a long time. I am going to get rid of at least five pair of them ... I don't care about "not needing" when it comes to shoes. The light fixture in the closet does not click on automatically when the door is opened like all the other closets in our home. I will have to look in to that. I thought the lightbulb was just missing. That didn't bother me, broken does. I bet it's in the wiring. I secretly like to figure out stuff like that. Half of what is hanging in my closet I don't wear. My wedding dress for example. It is a very simple dress ... Why do I save it? There is no way any of my girls will have any interest in it.